ok heres the deal, i know youve now settled but for future reference for people. in the case of an insurance repair it is totaly up to you as to where your car goes, its soon going to be made ilegal for insurance companys to insist you take it to there aproved repairer. they can however refuse to give you a higher car if it doesnt go to there shop but the bottom line is that its totaly up to you as to where your car goes.
on the matter of colour match, sadly milano is prone to fadeing and buffing wont help much as it is base and laquer so once its started to go pink its just a case of paint it or live with it. the reason is believed by some to be that honda didnt use uv protective laquer on some of there paint jobs so alowed the sun to bleach the paint. in the case of your car you would have been able to spot the difference as just putting fresh laquer on will make it stand out from your weathered factory paint let alone the colour making a difference. its one of thoes sad things in life that just is. hope your respray looks good when its done, put some pics up of the process,
hope this has helped people in some way shape or form